Eve’s Apologia

It seemed to be just an ordinary day in the garden.

It is only when you look behind

that you are able to determine the extraordinary.

Who would have thought one piece of fruit could change the world?

But it did.

I stand before you today,

To give an account of my actions.

I do not ask forgiveness,

I do not seek to justify,

Instead,

I stand before you today,

A Mother,

who seeks to help her children to understand.

.

My name is Eve.

Much has been said of my choices,

Many accusations made, all by none who knew me.

Most humans make lousy choices,

Most however, do not impact the world.

 

My story is not my own, for it includes all of you as well,

And it is one of shame, and sadness –

as it is the story of a life,

and life is not easy,

but yet –

it is still a gift.

 

It is a Mother’s heart that compels me to tell the tale,

To bind a wound, to bridge a fracture, to mend a broken heart.

 

Imagine, if you can, which you almost certainly can not –

A world of no despair,

or toil

or loss,

A world where from the ground sprang forth life.

No exhausting labor, no strife,

a land of plenty –

sadness unknown.

This is the garden where we lived,

this was our home.

It is a sad fact that we humans most often never appreciate what we have,

until it is gone.

 

My companion,

how I adored and loved him,  

but ever so simple was he.

Adam, my husband,  to whom I was given to help,

as it is not good for man to be alone.

Together we loved, we laughed, we watched the sun rise and set.

The creatures were our friends,

and we could never have imagined

what it would be like to have a care in the world –

As our world only cared for us.

No enemy did we know.

I would look to the stars though, and wonder;

I would say to Adam,

do you not wonder what is beyond the garden?

where our Father goes when He is away?

Adam did not wonder at such things,

and would laugh at my whimsies.

How grand it would have been, had I known then,

that it was curiosity killed the cat.

But it is only through a glass darkly that we feeble mortals see.

 

It was the Snake that introduced our destruction.

He knew of my questions,

he seized upon my curiosity,

and he came to me when I was alone;

“Did God command you not to eat of any tree in the garden?”

I knew the Snake,

he was my friend,

for no foe was to be found in the garden,

Deception and distrust were unknown to me.

“God told us to eat from all trees in the garden, except for the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden.

For God said to us: ‘You must not eat from it, nor touch it, or you will die’.”

Then, my friend the Serpent

planted his seed of doubt –

and became the Father of all lies;

“You will surely not die.

For God knows that on the day you eat of that tree

your eyes will be opened!

You will be like gods and know good from evil”

When I looked at the tree, it was pleasant to my eye –

when I picked the fruit, I did not die.

My mind raced,

could the Serpent be right?

To be like gods, to know what was beyond the stars,

this was my heart’s desire.

As my teeth sank into the sweet flesh,

the flood of knowledge nearly brought me to my knees –

The knowing,

a burden to great to bear.

My heart broke at the understanding,

My shame laid naked for all,

I covered myself with a fig leaf and sought out Adam.

No argument needed, no apologetic speech, no craft or cunning –

I handed the fruit to my husband and said “eat”,

and he did.

 

Then came our Father, to the garden,

where He found our innocence, our paradise – lost.

God cursed the Serpent and is forever angry with it,

as we are now at war.

God was angry with me,

because I had listened to the serpent and said;

“I will greatly multiply your sorrows and your pains.

In sorrow you will bring forth children.

You will return to your husband,

who will rule over you.”

To Adam He said;

“Because you listened to your wife’s voice and ate from the tree I commanded you not to touch, let the ground be cursed under you.

Thorns and thistles will grow in it, and you will eat your bread in the sweat of your face until you return to the earth from which you were taken.

You are earth and to earth you will return.”

It was then,

that the first sacrifice of life on earth was made,

to cover our sin.

 

Adam now ruled over me,

as men have ruled over the daughters of Eve in our world since.

Patriarchal domination, just one part of the curse we endure.

Examine all the history of the ages since, and I would ask –

do you not see the effect of this curse in

the physical, spiritual and social state of all womankind?

And why?

Because I wanted to KNOW.

The purpose, the meaning, the more –

men now boast of their knowledge,

but it is because women were bold enough to seek it,

that they have acquired any of it at all.

 

From you, my children,

I seek no forgiveness today, nor restoration of my own reputation,

I also will not turn the subtle Snake into the Scapegoat.

 

As, you see,

From the first moment of creation

Free Will has ever reigned,

While my behavior was the response to treachery and deception,

I still had the right, and will, to choose,

and choose I did.

Instead of forgiveness,

I beg you to consider the human condition.

 

“Return, you children of men”

cries the voice of heaven,

for all those willing to listen and

who have the ears to hear.

The knowledge we have is a double edged sword,

one our Father would have preferred we did not yield,

but willful children we are –

and so now the war wages on.

Knowledge, a dark gift, but a gift my children –

Wield it as you will.

But know, it’s very price, was life itself.

 

REFERENCE

Barnstone, W. (1984). The other bible. San Francisco, CA: Harper & Row. (p.12, 13, 15) The Book of Jubilees, (p.36) Haggadah

 

The Woman in the Wilderness

The depths of the forest, how deep the dark, made her almost wish in that she had never known of the light. For now, her heart not only beat out of her chest, but ached  – in that broken unfix-able way of the damned.

The moss covered ground was like a sponge beneath her her bare feet. She ran. She knew she should hide, but there was no place he would not find her, and then it would be her destruction. She had dreamed of the dragon, only the dragon could defeat the serpent and so she must become the dragon, assume its form. Fear enveloped her, the shape the sound the smell, foreign unfamiliar, far from her true self – whom she could no longer remember. She would not hide. she would stand and fight. In order to know her enemy she must become like him, the dragon – the dragon would defeat the great serpent and save her children. Then, however, she would have to save them from herself. Had this not always been the way of the old ones? Who was she to change the order? The conviction, however, the unending compelling force would not allow her to lie down. The Brotherhood would be her enemy, she would stand alone. She would fight for the progeny, for the sons who no longer knew her name.

The transformation had begun long before she had fled, then once she had cut out her heart out and buried it in the forest, there was no turning back.

Dark dreams

She knew she was dreaming, but despite that she was awake and upright in the bed.

Her husband laying peacefully beside her,still, in that deep sleep where  breathing is a primitive rhythm all its own. The other man in the bed was sitting Indian style, with his head inclined ever so slightly to the right, waiting. The streetlight shown through the window in on his face, and immediately, she knew him for who he was. He called her his bride, and while this was wrong, it rang with a truth hard to separate herself from. The voice that she heard was his, but did not proceed from his wide mouth, instead it came from his amber eyes and bore in to her brain. The terror that gripped her did not overwhelm her ability for deceit.

“I know your plans for the world”, she said with conviction, “and you will win, I know my part and I will play it”. How she knew was indiscernible to her, the dark knowledge she drew upon was old. She wondered how it had been hidden from her for so long, as if buried old moss of a primordial forest, somewhere in the recesses of her mind.

The fire behind the dark man’s eyes grew as he told of the horrors that would ensue on this earth, destruction, chaos and the pain that would punish the innocent. She no longer gazed in to stones of amber, instead now two cavernous pits filled with hell’s inferno gleamed.

He was gone, and she found herself standing on the bed, arms reaching heavenward, reciting an ancient prayer to the most high God. All the while terrified that the low one with burning eyes would return and hear, and then eat her – flesh first, soul last. When she awoke, filled with fear and dread, there was also a sense of acceptance, that this was the natural order of her existence and she resigned herself to it.

The battle lines were drawn in an age of war too long from her to recall.

What’s Past is Prologue

Before the beginning they walked beside one another,  jumping from rock to rock along the shore and avoiding the shifting sand. He reached out his hand to her as the path got steep and they looked deeply into one another’s eyes – outside of time and space suspended – they could see right into the other, this connection – this quality, was unique to them… if only they had known, but then they thought they knew everything.

“We will forget each other” She shivered, as they walked hand in hand now, the aquamarine waves breaking on the shore below.

“Mostly, yes.” He looked down at the path then the blue of his eyes found hers again, “Mostly”. He turned his face to the sea, and as it always did, the angle of his cheekbone and the cut of his jaw caused such love to well up in her she had to look away and turn to face the Forest of Pines ahead of them.

“And my children will not know me.”

“No, they will not remember. Some will worship you, many will hate you, envied and despised for your power or the absence of it, misunderstood for your actions. You will forget who you are, your purpose your mission. This is the test of our souls; that we will choose the truth, that we will find our way back to each other.”

Though her heart was broken, her words were measured and she did not weep.  “We have to find our way back, what if we don’t? If we get lost, then what, we’re stuck there or worse – oblivion. It’s not worth the risk. All of this is a just game, a battle of wills – some cosmic chess match in which we are mere pawns.”

“No my love, you are a Queen.”

She knew she would find her way back, what terrified her was she thought it quite possible that he would not. Yet it was he who pressed for them to rise to the challenge and answer the call, he reminded her of what was right. One of the many reasons she loved him so much, the his love for others. Her mind swam with visions of their children running after him in the green fields of the farm, him unexpectedly splashing water from buckets on hot days during chores, laughter ringing through the halls of their home during hide and seek games and always his love. The decision had been made they would go, it was simply who they knew they were.

In an embrace that would linger in their dreams for eons, they held each other for only a moment – when she began to pull away he pulled her closer, tighter, before finally whispering goodbye and letting her go. They fell away from one another and disappeared into the expanding light of the Universe.

This is the story of Lily and Sam.

It began when Time knew not of his existence and endures once he has even returned to sleep again.